rattle off: to say (something) quickly or easily from memory.

hallucinatory: a false perception of objects or events involving your senses: sight, sound, smell, touch and taste.

delinquent: a usually young person who regularly performs illegal or immoral acts.

My level of clumsiness is directly proportionate to the number of people watching.

ram into: to hit or push something with force.

lame: (especially of an animal) unable to walk without difficulty as the result of an injury or illness affecting the leg or foot.

catastrophize: view or present a situation as considerably worse than it actually is.

humiliation and doom: embarrassment and failure.

exponentially: (with reference to an increase) more and more rapidly.

agitated: feeling or appearing troubled or nervous.

ticker: a telegraphic receiving instrument that automatically prints off information (such as stock quotations or news) on a paper ribbon.

He clenches his jaw. She dabs her eye. Not humiliation. Devastation.

devastation: great destruction or damage.

faculty: an inherent mental or physical power.

“No, I just… he didn’t.” I’m trying to set them straight, but my thoughts keep coming out broken.

From the principal’s office straight to the bathroom. I lean over a toilet, but nothing comes out. My guts are swirling, round and round, like I just sat in the passenger seat of a car driven by a blind person, the wheel jerking left to right to left. I want to get past this dizzy feeling, force it out of me, but it won’t come up.

trance: a temporary mental condition in which someone is not completely conscious of and/or not in control of himself or herself.

auditorium: the part of a public building where an audience sits.

heads-up: a warning that something is going to happen, usually so that you can prepare for it.

fit into : If something fits into a particular situation or system, that seems to be the right place for it.

If you don’t fit into one of their boxes, you get tossed aside.

bust: the act of arresting someone for a crime, or raiding a suspected criminal operation.  The private school is a bust.

ass-backward: in a manner contrary to what is usual, expected, or logical.

set off: to begin or happen.

strap in: to fasten a seat belt around (someone).

stay good and numb: unable to think, feel, or react normally because of something that shocks or upsets you.

If your name is Zoe, strap in for the ride of your life. If you happen to be Connor, well, you’re going to want to stay good and numb.

perk: gain or regain energy.

shake the feeling: to ignore the feeling.

spare me: don’t bother continuing to tell me that; I don’t believe or care about whatever you’re saying.

knee-jerk: (of a response) automatic and unthinking.

vow: solemnly promise to do a specified thing.

delegate: the transfer of responsibility for specific tasks from one person to another.

med: a medicine or a set of medicines that someone takes regularly.

corroborate: confirm or give support to (a statement, theory, or finding).

deface: spoil the surface or appearance of (something), for example by drawing or writing on it.

load up: to put things in or on a vehicle.

I kick off my sneakers and open my laptop.

pronounced: very noticeable or marked; conspicuous.

Because Connor’s hair is short and it makes his ears more pronounced.

crop out: remove part of a photograph or other image in order to produce a better picture or to fit a given space.

headspace: a person’s state of mind or mindset.

flip over: to turn something onto the other side or into a position in which the top of it is where the bottom of it normally is.

primal: relating to an early stage in evolutionary development; primeval.

exorcise: drive out or attempt to drive out (an evil spirit) from a person or place.

And maybe it’s the only thing that will finally exorcise these demon butterflies from my stomach.

nondescript: lacking distinctive or interesting features or characteristics.

stall: stop or cause to stop making progress.

pick up my pace: to begin moving or working faster.

obediently: in a manner that shows willingness to comply with an order or request; submissively.

unfazed: not confused, not worried.

a spill of: a quantity of liquid that has spilled or been spilt. a spill of surprise

ponderous: (especially of speech or writing) dull or laborious.

stonic: one apparently or professedly indifferent to pleasure or pain.

I never had her for a teacher, and was glad for it, because she was super intimidating and had a reputation for being strict. If she saw you in the hall, even if you were barely moving, she’d tell you to slow down.

intimidating: having a frightening, overawing, or threatening effect.

combustible: able to catch fire and burn easily.

a combustible combo

fathom: understand (a difficult problem or an enigmatic person) after much thought.

casket: coffin

buy into: to believe something, especially an idea that many other people believe in. needing them to buy into my plan.

swipe at: to direct criticism or insults toward (a particular person or group.

strenuously: with great effort and determination.

beckon into: to move your hand or head in a way that tells someone to come nearer

huddle: crowd together; nestle closely.

Mrs. Murphy clears a path, beckons me into her huddle.

jagged: with rough, sharp points protruding.

impale: transfix or pierce with a sharp instrument. Her jagged necklace impales my chest.

ingesting: to take in for or as if for digestion. She pauses again, ingesting more air.

astute: having or showing shrewdness and an ability to notice and understand things clearly.

puffy: (especially of part of the body) unusually swollen. puffy eyes

give a shit: to care what someone else thinks or does, particularly in relation to what they think or say about the speaker.

nemesis: a long-standing rival; an arch-enemy.

out of whack: out of order; not working.

at stake: at risk.

escort: accompany them there, usually in order to make sure that they leave a place or get to their destination.

Ms. Emerson escorted the class out.

The next day, the printer was back in place. Back on the desk, minus the tray. minus: without

logline: a brief (one to two sentence) summary of a movie, tv show, etc. that hooks the reader in and describes the central conflict of the story.

villain: (in a film, novel, or play) a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot.

strangle: squeeze or constrict the neck of (a person or animal), especially so as to cause death.

make shit up: to say something utterly untrue or wildly exaggerated.

whine: give or make a long, high-pitched complaining cry or sound. the door whines

crumple: crush (something, typically paper or cloth) so that it becomes creased and wrinkled.

perch: (of a bird) alight or rest on something. She enters my room and perches awkwardly on the edge of my bed.

overdue: not having arrived, happened, or been done by the expected time.

stabbing: an act or instance of wounding or killing someone with a knife.

overdose: an excessive and dangerous dose of a drug.

induced coma: a drug-induced state of brain inactivation and unconsciousness.

paralyse: cause (a person or part of the body) to become partly or wholly incapable of movement.

scrubs: any medical uniform consisting of a short-sleeve shirt and pants.

emancipation: a legal way for children to become adults before they are 18; the fact or process of being set free from legal, social, or political restrictions; liberation.

stunt: (plural stunts) A daring or dangerous feat, often involving the display of gymnastic skills.

fling open: to open a door or window roughly, using a lot of force.

indenture: bind (someone) by an indenture as an apprentice or labourer.

a heap of: a lot of.

start over: to begin to do something again, sometimes in a different way.

that doesn’t count: that doesn’t qualify, isn’t valid, isn’t considered as part of a calculation or assessment.

pristine: clean and fresh as if new; spotless.

flattened: upset and unhappy about something that someone has said.

nightmarish: of the nature of a nightmare; very frightening or unpleasant.

Paralysis is a loss of strength in and control over a muscle or group of muscles in a part of the body.

Disfigurement is the state of having one’s appearance deeply and persistently harmed medically, such as from a disease, birth defect, or wound.

Decapitation or beheading is the total separation of the head from the body. 

pulverization: the process of pressing or crushing something until it becomes powder or a soft mass.

incineration: the process of burning something completely

blinker: a vehicle indicator or other device that gives out an intermittent light.

refurbishing: to make a building look new again by doing work such as painting, repairing, and cleaning.

drenched: to make someone or something extremely wet.

mush: If you say your brain has turned to mush, it means you cannot think clearly.

My armpits are drenched and the paper wrapped around my flower bouquet has become a soppy mush in my hands.

A porch is a room or gallery located in front of an entrance of a building. 

cul-de-sac: a short road that is blocked off at one end.

I’ve been trying to trap single pieces of rice between the tines of my fork, just a little game to pass the time.

muggy: unpleasantly warm and the air contains a lot of water.

dab: to touch something with quick light touches, or to put a substance on something with quick light touches.

platter: a large plate used for serving food, or a meal with one type of food served on a large plate.

considerate: kind and helpful.

bring it over: take something to a place where someone is.

apprentice: someone who has agreed to work for a skilled person for a particular period of time and often for low payment, in order to learn that person’s skills.

kryptonite: something that can seriously weaken or harm a particular person or thing.

If I sense even a hint of pressure, I immediately buckle. Pressure is my kryptonite.

tear away from: to leave somewhere even though you would prefer to stay there.

It’s a mistake to tear my eyes away from the bowl of apples, but I do it anyway.

phony: not sincere or not real.

pariah: a person despised or rejected by society. Outcast.

stringing words together: you manage to say something that other people can understand.

etiquette: the customary code of polite behaviour in society or among members of a particular profession or group.

trip: catch one’s foot on something and stumble or fall.

torso: the trunk of the human body.

brow: a person’s forehead.

get out from under: to escape or extricate oneself from a troublesome, difficult, or burdensome person, situation, or circumstance.

The question hangs in the room, a thick, hot smog that no one can get out from under. I watch them all, struggling to breathe, struggling to be. Struggling.

dismiss: banish; abandon; treat as unworthy of serious consideration.

tidbit: a small piece of tasty food.

bring it up: to mention someone or something in a conversation.

bummed: annoyed, upset, or disappointed.

fudge: a soft candy made from sugar, butter, and milk or cream.

sycamore: a large Eurasian maple with winged fruits, native to central and southern Europe.

tangible: capable of being perceived especially by the sense of touch.

collapse on the grass: to fall or shrink together abruptly and completely on the grass.

periphery: the outer limits or edge of an area or object.

hop in: get into a vehicle.

a piece of crap (crab): not to be believed.

unequivocal: leaving no doubt; unambiguous.

doused with: extinguish (a fire or light).

Zoe’s mother keeps showering me with hugs, but Zoe only douses me with suspicion.

dismissed: order or allow to leave; send away.