Writing a review after forgetting most of the book’s content is probably the best way to do it, as it helps avoid getting overly focused on a specific chapter or passage. I want to recommend this book: Dear Girls by Ali Wong.

Although Ali Wong’s comedy specials are rated 18+ and the book itself starts with a warning for readers over 20, I still found myself deeply moved and laughing out loud. She talks about growing up as the youngest in her family with older brothers and sisters, her parents, her school life, college, her study aboard in Vietnam, relationships, breaking into comedy, and later experiences with miscarriage and motherhood. My mom has never shared such detailed memories and reflections with me. Especially from the perspective of a proactive woman, Ali offers unique insights into understanding love, sex, and family.

I tried to recall Jimmy O’yang’s book: How to American, where he briefly mentioned his experience as an immigrant trying to learn English, making efforts to fit into a more “American” environment while being excluded, and navigating life away from traditional parental expectations. After various failures and struggles, he eventually found his footing as a stand-up comedian and actor and only started having stable relationships in his thirties.

Or I think back to Trevor Noah’s memoir, where his mischievous yet intelligent nature, his mixed-race identity, and his experiences navigating different social classes and races come into play. He also describes the shameful things he had to do to survive in South Africa.

Ali Wong, on the other hand, is American, and her writing is packed with references to brands, movies, and music that may require a quick Google search. Her vocabulary is rich, and her deep understanding of society, race, and gender, having majored in Asian American Studies, allows her to reflect on life’s challenges from a broader perspective. After graduating, she struggled with poverty, but her hardworking parents served as a source of inspiration. Her feminism and edgy humor, which you can see in her comedy specials, eventually earned her recognition and support from her family.

She plays hard, but she’s got what it takes. While there’s certainly a performative element, when she writes about dating, sex, and career, it’s clear that she is very brave in pursuing what she wants, which helps shape the image of an independent woman. Especially in her stand-up specials, where she earns money to support her family and later goes through a divorce, she becomes a symbol of empowerment. Still, I can’t shake the feeling that without family support and a rich personal perspective, the chances of encountering the wrong people increase significantly. You might even be unlucky enough to fall into a bad relationship that could set you back for years. You definitely won’t have the perfect balance of love and career.

Additionally, in the final section of the book, her husband writes about how they met and his thoughts on the parts of the comedy specials where she talks about sex life and she was the “breadwinner”. His words are heartfelt, but why didn’t he mention the “prenuptial agreement”? Also, after her divorce, her 2024 special received much lower ratings on platforms like Douban and IMDb. If it weren’t for the support from her feminist fanbase, the ratings might have been even worse.